Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize