Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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