she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't like sucking hair
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
