Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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