What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
