Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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