You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
