Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I smell stomach acid.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
