You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
