I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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