Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
