so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
