if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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