Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
COCAINE IS GR8
Text me some of your sweat
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
