girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
