PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
