i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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