You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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