Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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