were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
