He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
