Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
