She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
