he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
