I want to have your abortion
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
