Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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