It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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