So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
