Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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