just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
