you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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