420 ftw
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There's always time for handjobs
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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