Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
