No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
