Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
