would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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