and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
