Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
