I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
