he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
