I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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