Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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