Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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