maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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