physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
