Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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