So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize