***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
okay pat passed out under dana's car
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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