oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
