he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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