Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
