I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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