So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
