I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
