Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
