Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize