Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize