I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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